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Friday, October 21, 2011

She was 84




I had things I wanted to say today. But they aren't important now. My mother passed early yesterday morning. She was very ill and in quite a lot of pain from the cancer that had spread everywhere in her body. She hasn't been able to speak for a long time because her brain had betrayed her thoughts. That would have been awful for her. I know how much she dreaded the idea of it. She was a very bright woman and valued learning more than anything I can think of. Reading and puzzles of all kinds were what she did to keep her mind strong. In the end she could do none of those things. It is sweet relief that she no longer suffers.

I won't be able to go up to say a final good bye. There isn't time for the travel it requires. It's a long ways and it's all quite complicated in so many ways. My dear friend had the idea to let a balloon drift upwards and away to mark her passing. I like this idea. I will do this instead and wish her the peace that she did not have in her last months.

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43 comments:

  1. Marian HertzogOctober 21, 2011 at 7:31 AM

    Prayers for you. It is a bittersweet time. The Mom you knew has been gone but now she is at peace.

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  2. mairedoddOctober 21, 2011 at 7:38 AM

    big hugs, leann -

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  3. Cristi Baxter ClothierOctober 21, 2011 at 7:39 AM

    My condolences to you and your family. I have no doubt that she is in a much better place now.

    Be blessed today!

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  4. Lorelei EurtoOctober 21, 2011 at 8:09 AM

    Oh my gosh!! I am so sorry for your loss LeAnn! Stay strong and know that your mother is looking down on you and is so proud of you! xoxo

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  5. Lois MoonOctober 21, 2011 at 8:14 AM

    I am thinking about you and your family.

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  6. Pearl and PebbleOctober 21, 2011 at 8:26 AM

    Oh LeAnn I'm so sorry for your loss. Releasing the baloon seems so peaceful and fitting. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  7. Courtney BreulOctober 21, 2011 at 8:39 AM

    I am so sorry for your loss. When my father died this summer we had a long period between his passing and the service. The chaplain that we met with just after his death suggested that we write a note to him, saying what ever we wanted to, tie it to a balloon and release it. I can't even begin to tell you how helpful that was.

    Wishing you peace,
    Courtney

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  8. IzzyOctober 21, 2011 at 8:59 AM

    Sending much love and healing light... Let me know if you need anything.

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  9. peacockfairyOctober 21, 2011 at 9:16 AM

    So sorry for your loss LeAnn. Hugs and warm thoughts to you.

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  10. Spirited EarthOctober 21, 2011 at 9:27 AM

    I'm so sorry for your loss,it's difficult even when you know that the passing was a release for your loved one. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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  11. jessememanOctober 21, 2011 at 10:10 AM

    My friend, I am so very sorry to hear of your great loss...my thoughts and prayers and flying your way.

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  12. stregataOctober 21, 2011 at 10:16 AM

    So sorry for your loss, LeAnn - it is so hard to say goodbye to a mother... But I am glad she is no longer suffering. My thoughts are with you. Sending many hugs.

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  13. SueBeadsOctober 21, 2011 at 11:24 AM

    I'm so sorry for your loss, LeAnn.

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  14. GardanneOctober 21, 2011 at 11:48 AM

    I am so sorry for your loss LeAnn.

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  15. The Crazy Creative CornerOctober 21, 2011 at 11:48 AM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope the comfort of your family will help bring you peace and a reason to, eventually, smile again.

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  16. BabsOctober 21, 2011 at 12:48 PM

    I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's illness and passing. My thoughts and prayers are with you. May you find comfort in the wonderful memories you have of her and your time together.

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  17. Patti VanderbloemenOctober 21, 2011 at 1:18 PM

    I am so sorry for your loss. May your reflections of the wonderful memories you two have created bring you peace.

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  18. TesoriTrovatiOctober 21, 2011 at 1:23 PM

    You know that I am here for you, Miss LeAnn. I love the sentiment of the balloon. In the past we have celebrated with sparklers outside in the snow to honor my father in law whose birthday was Christmas Eve. This is a poignant gesture that will leave a lasting impression on your heart.

    So sorry for your loss.

    Find your 'something good' through all of this.

    Enjoy the day.
    Erin

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  19. JudyOctober 21, 2011 at 2:59 PM

    Oh LeAnn, I am so sorry to hear this. I knew your Mom was ill and not doing well. I hope now she can find the peace and joy that is waiting for her. Give yourself the time to grieve. I love the idea of releasing a balloon, it is cathartic letting something go.
    Hugs to you my friend.

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  20. beautifullybrokenmeOctober 21, 2011 at 3:29 PM

    I am so sorry for your loss, LeAnn. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  21. windrock studioOctober 21, 2011 at 3:44 PM

    Hey LeAnn, peace and light to your sweet mom ~ blessings to your family.

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  22. Therese's TreasuresOctober 21, 2011 at 4:15 PM

    LeAnn,
    I'm so sorry for your loss, the suffering is done and she is in peace. The balloon idea sounds like a very nice way to say good bye.
    Sending a hug to you.
    Therese

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  23. sasha + max studioOctober 21, 2011 at 4:17 PM

    Dear LeAnn, my thoughts are very much with you - the balloons are a wonderful idea.Your mum is at peace now. Big hugs, Vicki

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  24. AnonymousOctober 21, 2011 at 5:28 PM

    Dear LeAnn, just read your post and my thoughts are with you. So sorry to read of your loss. Her soul is free and your balloon idea will be a tangible gesture of this. May you find solace and comfort in your memories of her. Thinking of you , a big hug to you.

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  25. moonlitfantaseasOctober 21, 2011 at 5:45 PM

    I am so sorry for your loss, but now she is at peace and no longer suffering.......you are in my thoughts, she will remain alive in all your good memories of her......

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  26. ReginaOctober 21, 2011 at 8:21 PM

    I am so sorry for your loss. She is at peace and well again.

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  27. UnknownOctober 21, 2011 at 8:39 PM

    As difficult as your loss is, it a also a blessing that your mother is no longer suffering. What a wonderful idea of letting a balloon go. ((Hugs)) and may peace find you and your family during this difficult time.

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  28. Mary HardingOctober 21, 2011 at 11:23 PM

    LeAnn I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I am glad she is no longer suffering. My thoughts are with you and your saddness.

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  29. adlinahOctober 22, 2011 at 3:13 AM

    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. It's painful to lose someone you love. You have my deepest condolences.

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  30. Laura TwifordOctober 22, 2011 at 7:39 AM

    Oh LeAnn, my heart is with you and your family. A mixed blessing to let her go, end the suffering but I know the loss you are feeling. She sounds like a remarkable woman, with a love of learning, I'm sure she enjoyed life and so the balloons are a fitting tribute. (((Big Hugs))), Laura

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  31. lunedreamsOctober 22, 2011 at 4:25 PM

    LeAnn, I'm so sorry to hear you have had to say good-bye to your Mom, and that circumstances did not allow you be with her in person as she passed. Either way is hard, beyond words. I'm sure your love was a comfort to her, whether near or far. I'll be thinking of you.

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  32. sharonOctober 23, 2011 at 11:57 AM

    As you know, the important thing that she is always with you. I am very sorry for your loss LeAnn, I have no other other words, but rather prayers.

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  33. ColleenOctober 23, 2011 at 5:24 PM

    LeAnn, I'm so sorry for your loss & for her suffering. I pray that the fact she is no longer suffering brings you peace. I lost my mom to cancer when I was 24-many years ago. She is always in my heart...the gift of a mom is that they never really leave us. I'm thinking of you & sending healing thoughts.

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  34. AnonymousOctober 23, 2011 at 7:29 PM

    Oh LeAnn, I am sorry for the loss of your mother. It can't have been easy to watch her change so much with age and disease. I like your friend's idea of releasing balloons in her memory. You sound at peace about the end of your Mom's suffering. I wish you continued peace, strength, and creative energy.

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  35. GaeaOctober 23, 2011 at 10:03 PM

    My sincerest condolences. My thoughts are with you....

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  36. Shai WilliamsOctober 23, 2011 at 11:48 PM

    I am very sorry for your loss. Be sure to treasure your memories especially in the better days.

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  37. AliceOctober 24, 2011 at 10:41 PM

    I'm so sorry to hear of your mother's illness and of her passing. I know how difficult it is to lose a parent, but also know the relief of not seeing them suffer any longer.

    My prayers are with you and your family.

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  38. Honey from the BeeOctober 25, 2011 at 11:22 AM

    I am so sorry for your loss. No need to worry about being physically there when she is no longer soulfully there. I love the balloon idea as a way to say what you want to say and letting it go. Peace be with your Mom and you.

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  39. CindyOctober 25, 2011 at 1:11 PM

    LeAnn, my heart goes out to you and your family. I know she will be sorely missed. She sounded like an incredible woman and will always be alive in your hearts. I'm sending you a great big hug over the distance.

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  40. Pretty ThingsOctober 26, 2011 at 5:57 PM

    Oh no. I'm so incredibly sorry and am thinking of you.

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  41. Marsha of Marsha Neal StudioNovember 3, 2011 at 12:40 AM

    So sorry to hear of your mother's passing… It is always sad to lose someone so special in your life. And speaking as someone who also lost a mother after a hard battle with cancer - I know that the loss is bitter sweet. Guilt for that feeling of relief of their passing - for their no longer suffering slowly through the pain. And overwhelming feelings of sadness for their being gone from this life.
    We are all connected through this life and whatever happens after. Like energy - changing shapes & forms - but never completely going away…
    {{{Big Hugs to you during this difficult time}}}

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  42. AnonymousNovember 5, 2011 at 12:14 AM

    What a beautiful idea this is- the balloons; I will remember it. My heart & thoughts are with you and your family now. Wishing you peace-
    t

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  43. My Life Under the BusNovember 7, 2011 at 9:39 AM

    Oh LeAnn I have no words XOXOX (((HUGS)))

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