Friday, October 21, 2011

She was 84




I had things I wanted to say today. But they aren't important now. My mother passed early yesterday morning. She was very ill and in quite a lot of pain from the cancer that had spread everywhere in her body. She hasn't been able to speak for a long time because her brain had betrayed her thoughts. That would have been awful for her. I know how much she dreaded the idea of it. She was a very bright woman and valued learning more than anything I can think of. Reading and puzzles of all kinds were what she did to keep her mind strong. In the end she could do none of those things. It is sweet relief that she no longer suffers.

I won't be able to go up to say a final good bye. There isn't time for the travel it requires. It's a long ways and it's all quite complicated in so many ways. My dear friend had the idea to let a balloon drift upwards and away to mark her passing. I like this idea. I will do this instead and wish her the peace that she did not have in her last months.

43 comments:

Marian Hertzog said...

Prayers for you. It is a bittersweet time. The Mom you knew has been gone but now she is at peace.

mairedodd said...

big hugs, leann -

Cristi Baxter Clothier said...

My condolences to you and your family. I have no doubt that she is in a much better place now.

Be blessed today!

Lorelei Eurto said...

Oh my gosh!! I am so sorry for your loss LeAnn! Stay strong and know that your mother is looking down on you and is so proud of you! xoxo

Lois Moon said...

I am thinking about you and your family.

Pearl and Pebble said...

Oh LeAnn I'm so sorry for your loss. Releasing the baloon seems so peaceful and fitting. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Courtney said...

I am so sorry for your loss. When my father died this summer we had a long period between his passing and the service. The chaplain that we met with just after his death suggested that we write a note to him, saying what ever we wanted to, tie it to a balloon and release it. I can't even begin to tell you how helpful that was.

Wishing you peace,
Courtney

Izzy said...

Sending much love and healing light... Let me know if you need anything.

peacockfairy said...

So sorry for your loss LeAnn. Hugs and warm thoughts to you.

Spirited Earth said...

I'm so sorry for your loss,it's difficult even when you know that the passing was a release for your loved one. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Melissa Meman said...

My friend, I am so very sorry to hear of your great loss...my thoughts and prayers and flying your way.

stregata said...

So sorry for your loss, LeAnn - it is so hard to say goodbye to a mother... But I am glad she is no longer suffering. My thoughts are with you. Sending many hugs.

SueBeads said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, LeAnn.

Gardanne said...

I am so sorry for your loss LeAnn.

The Crazier Sister said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope the comfort of your family will help bring you peace and a reason to, eventually, smile again.

Babs said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's illness and passing. My thoughts and prayers are with you. May you find comfort in the wonderful memories you have of her and your time together.

Patti Van said...

I am so sorry for your loss. May your reflections of the wonderful memories you two have created bring you peace.

TesoriTrovati said...

You know that I am here for you, Miss LeAnn. I love the sentiment of the balloon. In the past we have celebrated with sparklers outside in the snow to honor my father in law whose birthday was Christmas Eve. This is a poignant gesture that will leave a lasting impression on your heart.

So sorry for your loss.

Find your 'something good' through all of this.

Enjoy the day.
Erin

Judy said...

Oh LeAnn, I am so sorry to hear this. I knew your Mom was ill and not doing well. I hope now she can find the peace and joy that is waiting for her. Give yourself the time to grieve. I love the idea of releasing a balloon, it is cathartic letting something go.
Hugs to you my friend.

Molly Alexander said...

I am so sorry for your loss, LeAnn. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

windrock studio said...

Hey LeAnn, peace and light to your sweet mom ~ blessings to your family.

Therese's Treasures said...

LeAnn,
I'm so sorry for your loss, the suffering is done and she is in peace. The balloon idea sounds like a very nice way to say good bye.
Sending a hug to you.
Therese

sasha and max said...

Dear LeAnn, my thoughts are very much with you - the balloons are a wonderful idea.Your mum is at peace now. Big hugs, Vicki

Studio Sylvia said...

Dear LeAnn, just read your post and my thoughts are with you. So sorry to read of your loss. Her soul is free and your balloon idea will be a tangible gesture of this. May you find solace and comfort in your memories of her. Thinking of you , a big hug to you.

moonlitfantaseas said...

I am so sorry for your loss, but now she is at peace and no longer suffering.......you are in my thoughts, she will remain alive in all your good memories of her......

Regina said...

I am so sorry for your loss. She is at peace and well again.

sundownbeaddesigns said...

As difficult as your loss is, it a also a blessing that your mother is no longer suffering. What a wonderful idea of letting a balloon go. ((Hugs)) and may peace find you and your family during this difficult time.

maryharding said...

LeAnn I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I am glad she is no longer suffering. My thoughts are with you and your saddness.

allykat said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. It's painful to lose someone you love. You have my deepest condolences.

Laura Twiford said...

Oh LeAnn, my heart is with you and your family. A mixed blessing to let her go, end the suffering but I know the loss you are feeling. She sounds like a remarkable woman, with a love of learning, I'm sure she enjoyed life and so the balloons are a fitting tribute. (((Big Hugs))), Laura

lunedreams said...

LeAnn, I'm so sorry to hear you have had to say good-bye to your Mom, and that circumstances did not allow you be with her in person as she passed. Either way is hard, beyond words. I'm sure your love was a comfort to her, whether near or far. I'll be thinking of you.

sharon said...

As you know, the important thing that she is always with you. I am very sorry for your loss LeAnn, I have no other other words, but rather prayers.

Colleen said...

LeAnn, I'm so sorry for your loss & for her suffering. I pray that the fact she is no longer suffering brings you peace. I lost my mom to cancer when I was 24-many years ago. She is always in my heart...the gift of a mom is that they never really leave us. I'm thinking of you & sending healing thoughts.

barbarasfernald.com said...

Oh LeAnn, I am sorry for the loss of your mother. It can't have been easy to watch her change so much with age and disease. I like your friend's idea of releasing balloons in her memory. You sound at peace about the end of your Mom's suffering. I wish you continued peace, strength, and creative energy.

Gaea said...

My sincerest condolences. My thoughts are with you....

Shaiha said...

I am very sorry for your loss. Be sure to treasure your memories especially in the better days.

Alice said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your mother's illness and of her passing. I know how difficult it is to lose a parent, but also know the relief of not seeing them suffer any longer.

My prayers are with you and your family.

Janet Bocciardi said...

I am so sorry for your loss. No need to worry about being physically there when she is no longer soulfully there. I love the balloon idea as a way to say what you want to say and letting it go. Peace be with your Mom and you.

Cindy said...

LeAnn, my heart goes out to you and your family. I know she will be sorely missed. She sounded like an incredible woman and will always be alive in your hearts. I'm sending you a great big hug over the distance.

Pretty Things said...

Oh no. I'm so incredibly sorry and am thinking of you.

Marsha of Marsha Neal Studio said...

So sorry to hear of your mother's passing… It is always sad to lose someone so special in your life. And speaking as someone who also lost a mother after a hard battle with cancer - I know that the loss is bitter sweet. Guilt for that feeling of relief of their passing - for their no longer suffering slowly through the pain. And overwhelming feelings of sadness for their being gone from this life.
We are all connected through this life and whatever happens after. Like energy - changing shapes & forms - but never completely going away…
{{{Big Hugs to you during this difficult time}}}

taralinda said...

What a beautiful idea this is- the balloons; I will remember it. My heart & thoughts are with you and your family now. Wishing you peace-
t

My Life Under the Bus said...

Oh LeAnn I have no words XOXOX (((HUGS)))