Making bronze beads is a tedious task to say the very least. There are all these steps and multiple times that parts have to be dried, added to, dried, sanded, smoothed. But I actually quite like this task. The beads are fragile as they are put together. Sometimes they break. But I like putting my mind on the detail that they require.
By the end of yesterday, I had this little pile of beads done. There is something rewarding in being able to look at the fruits of the day, pack them into their firing container, and load them into the kiln. And every time I open a kiln, any kiln, it is a little like Christmas. You just never know for certain exactly what you will get. Mostly it is good but occasionally there is a gift in there that I just really do not want.
Right now that tedium that goes with making beads is a good thing. The whole day passed so quickly. I have these medical tests scheduled for next week. They are unpleasant and a bit scary. I have to get naked, or at least partially naked. Maybe I can leave my socks on. I hate the naked part. I hate getting naked in front of complete strangers. A nudist beach would never be for me. Just my nakedness. Other people can be as naked as they want. I take my nakedness seriously and privately, thank you very much. Anyway, I hardly thought about these tests at all while I was making beads, except for the naked part. So tedium is probably a good thing right now.
And, by the end of the day I had taken a little journey and come to the conclusion that there isn't much point in worrying about these tests. I can neither change the past nor predict the future. I can only show up for this particular day. I have heard it put something like this,
"this day is a gift. this is a day we could never earn or deserve. it is a gift from the universe, it is a gift from god, it is a gift from life itself."
So I am turning up each and everyday and accepting this wonderful gift.
It maybe helps that I had an idea. It may even be a brilliant idea. Or a completely stupid idea. There will be no in between on this. I am OK with that. Part of the idea is in the kiln waiting for me to uncover it. Something to look forward to. Don't we all need that at least a little bit?
Thank you all for your kindness and the support you've shown as I pass over these bumps on the road. I haven't been able to get back to each of you the way I would like. Please know that I treasure each and every expression that I have received.
Enjoy your weekend and the gift of each day!