Friday, February 3, 2012

Maybe tedium is a good thing?


Making bronze beads is a tedious task to say the very least. There are all these steps and multiple times that parts have to be dried, added to, dried, sanded, smoothed. But I actually quite like this task. The beads are fragile as they are put together. Sometimes they break. But I like putting my mind on the detail that they require.


By the end of yesterday, I had this little pile of beads done. There is something rewarding in being able to look at the fruits of the day, pack them into their firing container, and load them into the kiln. And every time I open a kiln, any kiln, it is a little like Christmas. You just never know for certain exactly what you will get. Mostly it is good but occasionally there is a gift in there that I just really do not want.

Right now that tedium that goes with making beads is a good thing. The whole day passed so quickly. I have these medical tests scheduled for next week. They are unpleasant and a bit scary. I have to get naked, or at least partially naked. Maybe I can leave my socks on.  I hate the naked part. I hate getting naked in front of complete strangers. A nudist beach would never be for me. Just my nakedness. Other people can be as naked as they want. I take my nakedness seriously and privately, thank you very much. Anyway, I hardly thought about these tests at all while I was making beads, except for the naked part. So tedium is probably a good thing right now.

And, by the end of the day I had taken a little journey and come to the conclusion that there isn't much point in worrying about these tests. I can neither change the past nor predict the future. I can only show up for this particular day. I have heard it put something like this,

"this day is a gift. this is a day we could never earn or deserve. it is a gift from the universe, it is a gift from god, it is a gift from life itself."

So I am turning up each and everyday and accepting this wonderful gift.

It maybe helps that I had an idea. It may even be a brilliant idea. Or a completely stupid idea. There will be no in between on this. I am OK with that. Part of the idea is in the kiln waiting for me to uncover it.  Something to look forward to. Don't we all need that at least a little bit?



Thank you all for your kindness and the support you've shown as I pass over these bumps on the road. I haven't been able to get back to each of you the way I would like. Please know that I treasure each and every expression that I have received.

Enjoy your weekend and the gift of each day!

16 comments:

mairedodd said...

it sounds like you found working meditation yesterday and that can be so healing... that is one of the things i like best about days when i am making components... the zen nature of it all... you are in my heart and head... excited to see what your surprise is... and naturally, those beads are divine...

Laura Twiford said...

I am just getting home and catching up a little bit on my blog reading and so sorry that I haven't posted sooner about all that is going on with you at the moment. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and I am glad you found some serenity yesterday through your creative process. I know what you mean about the medical procedures, you have to check your modesty and dignity at the door when having them done. Deep breath, it will all be OK. Big Hugs, Laura

TesoriTrovati said...

You were having that zen moment yesterday. I like that realization you had. That the worry is no longer going to play a role. You can be concerned, but worry is black hole. It consumes everything that touches it and leaves you feeling empty. But concern is more proactive. You can take that concern and turn it positive. And know that I am sending my thoughts and prayers to you, Miss LeAnn. And for the record I am like you on the nakedness part. But we are all naked, some just hide it better than others. So leave your socks on if it makes you feel better. But know that no matter the outcome of the tests, that you are still you and you are still loved and you are still living. Thank you for showing me some perspective today. That is a 'something good' for the day.
Enjoy the day.
Erin

Babs said...

The beads look beautiful! I too find such comfort and meditation in doing small tasks like that - it really is a blessing. I'll be thinking about you and hoping all goes well with the procedure.

When I had to have a scary test done a while back I had an epiphany that really helped me stop the worrying and dreading. It occurred to me that the test I was having would be painful and embarrassing but it would take only about 10 minutes. By worrying and constantly dread the event I was only adding time to the event. Who in their right mind would want something miserable to take even longer if they could help it? I stopped worrying right then and there.

Best wishes!!!!

DeborahRead.com said...

Great Beads - which bronze clay are you using. Cant wait to see what they look like finished. Zen is a wonderful thing - moments of clarity, peace and satisfaction. I find working on hobbies is wonderfully therapy for the mind as well as the body. Take care
Deb

Patty said...

Enjoy the gift of your day, and know that we'll be thinking of you as you take your medical journey. One day at a time, and you can do anything. ((Hugs))

sharon said...

You will get through it no problem I am sure, the anticipation is always the worst and our thoughts get the best of us. Do what you need to do, you are coping in the way you know how. Know that we are sending good thoughts and prayers for you.

Barbara said...

Good luck next week, LeAnn. I totally get then thing about leaving your socks on. Knee socks are the most comforting in those situations because they come up higher. It's so encouraging you could distract yourself with work. The bronze beads will be gorgeous.
Hang in there. l Just think. A week from now, the tests you are dreading will already be behind you.
Thinking of you and wishing for the week to go smoothly. xoxo

stregata said...

Sounds like it was a very productive day in the studio - and you even made beads! You are in my thoughts - sending good wishes your way.
And hanging on the edge of my seat to see your brillant idea...

Pretty Things said...

I totally get the naked thing. I've been going through some tough medical stuff, too, so please email me if you need some support! I'll be thinking of you.

Mellisa said...

Can you keep a fabulous necklace on with your socks? That still probably wouldn't be enough to lessen my stress but you never know :) I will be thinking of you and hope all turns out well.

Alice said...

Your beads are so sweet! I would love to experience the moment you open the kiln and look inside.

I hope your test went well. These things are never fun, but they are necessary.

Pearl and Pebble said...

The beads look marvelous! Been thinking about you all weekend. Treat yourself to a pedicure after the tests. I hate those kinds of doctor's appointments. Just remember your body is just "parts" to them. They don't even think twice about the things that we find embarassing about ourselves.

Colleen said...

Thinking about you & sending support & healing energy your way.

Cynthia@Ornamental Style said...

I'm a bit late reading this post so you've had your tests by now. I hope that everything is okay or if not, that there is a solution to make it okay. We are so vulnerable when we're naked but like someone mentioned, medical professionals don't quite see us the way we see ourselves. The beads are beautiful and they helped you get through what you needed to. Sometimes, that's the best part of our art--the ability to lose ourselves. And best wishes for come what may.

Barb Fernald said...

Just coming back to check, and I wanted to say I hope you are doing okay after your tests, and that you do not need to have any more.
Please take care of yourself! Rest and recover from whatever life is throwing at you right now. We all miss you but we can wait for a little bit longer. Sometimes creativity needs to take a long nap so you can conserve energy for what is front and center in your life. It always comes back! I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you.
xoxo Barb