Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Waking Up


All around me spring is bursting into bloom. New wonders greet me everyday as the world wakes up from winter. I feel a little like spring. Maybe a lot like spring. I feel like I am just waking up from surgery, although it will be 3 weeks tomorrow. But each day I feel a little more awake. A little more like me.


My garden is all new to me. Who knew that there were tulips, daffodils, and hyacinths waiting there for me to discover this year. It's a whole new landscape that I had no idea existed when we moved here last June. My body is like a whole new landscape that was unimaginable last June. But there is beauty to be found in the altered topography that is me.

The cancer was large but still early with no evidence of spread. I feel lucky. I feel optimistic. I feel that each precious moment of life is mine to savor, to hold, to recognize as a great gift. To hold in my heart. Much as I hold in my heart all of your unimaginable out pouring of support and love. Each comment, email, card has been such a beautiful gift that reminded me to have hope while I've been getting on with the business of living.



I am slowly getting back into the studio. I've been too tired to do much and I have restrictions on lifting and little things like making sure I don't get cuts in my hands and yuk in those little cuts. There will likely be some changes to how I do things over the next few months. But Peter and I are working out the best way to do things. I need to be in my studio. I also need to be good to myself. Balancing act skill is not necessarily well represented in my life's tool box. But maybe this is the opportunity to learn a new skill set.

I start chemotherapy the first week of April. It's a reasonably short cycle of 4 that will be finished in June. I will most likely lose all of my hair but then I've always been looking for an excuse to wear flamboyant head wear. It is time to follow through. The chemotherapy will be finished in time to welcome my new grand baby into the world. Life is good.


Everywhere I look there is something new coming to life. The red buds and forsythia and flowering plums are a quiet riot of colour against the trees that are just now swelling with the first signs of green leaves to come. Life is good. Life is very good indeed. Life is full of promise and beauty.

36 comments:

mairedodd said...

how wonderful to hear your voice - to see what you see and feel... yes, leann, your world has been pulling for you - and celebrates your emergence into spring...
balance is so difficult - but you will do it... just like you have managed everything else you have been challenged with...
your world is beautiful - as are you...

steufel said...

Oh LeAnn, it is good to hear, that you recovering. I was away from the blogging world much of January and February, so I didn't know about the diagnosis. I'm so, so sorry, but I hope you will feel better soon. A dear friend of mine battled that horrible disease a few years ago, but now she has recovered from breast cancer and she is stronger then before.

And how great is it, that there will be another grand baby. Congrats on that.

Please, please, please take good care of yourself!

Beverly Herman said...

LeAnn I've been watching for a word from you. Thinking about you everyday with a prayer for your recovery. I am so grateful you are healing and the chemo will be a short round. Sending hugs and healing thoughts from New Orleans.

Courtney said...

So good to see you back here. I am glad to hear that you are on the mend and that chemo will be short. Be good to you. Sending good thoughts.

Izzy said...

Yay, glad to see you here, you little spring bird! Wow, I'd have to be banned from my studio if I couldn't get cuts on my hands. =) So many little things to remember. If I had the money I'd have a different pair of glasses AND a different hat for everyday of the year. You are surrounded by love from mother nature and from all your friends. Big hug!

Lorelei Eurto said...

Thinking about you always! xxoo

Gardanne said...

You sound so amazing, and I am so happy your news is positive. You are a wonderful role model on how to handle change.

Pretty Things said...

I'm so glad to see you here!

Colleen said...

Welcome back! So good to hear from you. Know that everyone is pulling for you and sending wonderful, healing energy!

Melissa Meman said...

LeAnn, so happy to see your post! Gentle hugs to you...I have been thinking of you!

Melissa

Erin Siegel said...

I love your spirit, energy and positive outlook, LeAnn! That is what I love about you and why I love coming to your space here. You make me feel good and full of hope. That is what you put out to the universe and you will receive all the goodness, light and healing you need for a full recovery and beyond! Life is good and you are fabulous!

TesoriTrovati said...

Happy Spring Miss LeAnn! I am overjoyed to see you posting here. I have missed you! I like the way you are accepting of this journey. It is so brave of you. You can get through this. The map may have changed, the topography may be filled with new terrain, but it is beautiful nonetheless. You are a beautiful soul. I am thinking of you and wishing you well. All positive energy coming your way! Remember that you do not go this journey alone. We are right here for you.

Enjoy the day.
Erin

DeborahRead.com said...

So wonderful to see you back - been checking everyday thinking of you
Hoping for this positive outcome
You are so brave and your outlook will get you through as well as your friends -

Babs said...

I've been thinking and praying about you. So glad the surgery went well and that you are feeling better. Hang in there friend.

Patti Van said...

You have such a wonderful, positive outlook! So happy to read your post today! I have been keeping you in my prayeres! And that baby will be here before you know it! Bless you!

stregata said...

Oh LeAnn, I can't express how good it is to see a message from you here. You have been in my thoughts, my prayers and in my heart every day. I have missed you. And I celebrate your special spring with you. Sending much love and much positive energy your way!

Zoe Nelson said...

So glad to hear that you're on the road to recovery. I hope the next leg of the journey goes well for you!

windrock studio said...

You are so right, my dear, life is very good! Especially when our friends are on the mend and have such beautiful, positive outlooks. I'm so happy to see your words and garden images here today, to know the chemo will be short and the new grandbaby will arrive at the perfect time.
All the best, LeAnn.

Lesley said...

Wonderful to have you back with such positivity and so much to look forward to. Be well.

Barb Fernald said...

Yay! Happy to see you back. You sound positive and ready for what comes next. I've been thinking about you a lot and sending lots of good energy your way. Keep resting and enjoying the burst of spring! xoxo

Cindy said...

LeAnn, it is so good to hear your update today. I've been thinking of you and I'm so relieved to hear how well you are doing and that your spirits are up. Yes, there is just SO much to be thankful for. And isn't this the best time of year, with everything green and blooming? Sending you a great big - and as Melissa aptly put it - gentle hug! :-)

Kim said...

Sending you gentle hugs and positive energy. It is good to see you back here, I am glad the chemo will be a short round.

Joan Tucker said...

Best of luck with chemo; your positive force will get you through all this. That baby on the way will help and all the love being sent your way perhaps will ease the discomfort.
I hope spring is unbelievably joyful and magical to help a special lady get through this time. Sending healing hugs, Joan T

momster said...

so great to hear your voice, as everyone has said. i think of you so often and am holding you in the light, leann

Jo said...

Thinking of you and praying for you LeAnn.

sharon said...

It's so wonderful to hear from you, and know that you are dealing with this in such a postive way! Continued prayers and healing thoughts LeAnn.
Hugs!

Beads2Die4 said...

What a lovely post! So glad your heart is full of spring.

My Life Under the Bus said...

I think of you every day and say a prayer XOXO You have an amazing outlook!

beth hemmila of hint jewelry said...

I'm so happy you are getting up and about and thinking of how best to be good to yourself. I'll be thinking of you in April and sending loving thoughts your way for healing during chemo! Blessings beautiful soul xoxo Beth

LLYYNN - Lynn Davis said...

Take extra good care of yourself during this time, and give yourself permission to take time off and take it easy! Let your caregiver "do" for you - it's important to go gradually back from the changes in your body. Speaking as a past caregiver myself, I know it's a gift you give to your caregiver, to let them take care of you.
Hugs,
Lynn

Carol B said...

LeAnn,

I'm glad the big C was caught and removed! Take it easy and enjoy this beautiful springtime.

Cynthia@Ornamental Style said...

Best wishes for your continued and speedy recovery. And what a bit of joy those spring flowers bring--all the more so because they were unexpected.

Marie Cramp said...

You will come out of this stronger and better! Your life will feel new and full of wonder! I am so glad to hear that things are going so well! I keep you in my hearts prayer always <3

lakesuperiorwaves said...

Enjoy your new grandbaby's arrival when he gets here. Heal body, mind and soul. I enjoy and appreciate your work.

Lori Bowring Michaud said...

Welcome back LeAnn. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope each day brings you one step closer to complete and total recovery.

Patty said...

It's wonderful to read how you are doing, LeAnn, and how your creativity is embracing your new journey. Big Hugs.