Ears To You

I don't do a lot of blog hops but when Amy at Copper Diem organized this one, I knew I wanted to do it. Had to do it. . Ears to You is a non-profit organisation that gifts earrings to women undergoing chemo as a way of helping to lift their spirits. If  you've been around this blog over the past few months, you probably  know that I finished chemo for breast cancer treatment not too long ago. So this blog hop seemed a natural for me and a way to give back just a little tiny bit of the love that sustained me through the months of treatment.

Amy asked us to make 3-5 pairs of earrings to donate to Ears to You. I started with what I knew best and that's my ceramic beads with some little bronze nuggets and garnets.

A lot of you out there were so kind and one of the things that meant so much to me were the earrings you all sent. All sorts of handmade ones that made me feel very special. Because lets just face it, when you have chemo you are probably going to loose your hair (and your eye brows and lashes). I did. Pretty much overnight I went to completely naked on my head. And a lot of the time that naked head of mine made me feel kind of naked all over.

Earrings were the answer for me. I hadn't actually worn earrings much in the past. But when it came to bald, even with my head covered in scarves, earrings were one of the things that made me feel good. It gave me something to focus on, rather than how strange I looked to myself.

I made this pair thinking how much I loved long dangly earrings. Something that went with the turban look. The turban look can be hard to pull off without looking like a chemo patient. But add some long dangly earrings and you've got an instant 'I am an artist, somewhat bohemian look.' You shout,  'I am not a victim of cancer, I am exotic.' Well even if you don't really look it, you can feel it and that is kinda important :-)

This last pair is a technique I learned from Staci Florer when I was at ArtBliss only I turned the copper hoops up side down. The ones I learned how to make, which I really wanted to do, required soldering. Ones like these. Well the soldering station has been over taken by the not anymore Secret Project which has made a momentous coup of my studio and my time. So in a stroke of something approaching a light bulb going off (dimly), I used sterling jump rings. And now that I think about a little more, I could actually turn these upside down again. A hint here, if you want to do something like this style of ring hoopy thing, wire together the top ends temporarily and then punch the hole. Much easier to get the hole lined up that way and the jump ring in. I know this from experience and one or two cuss words.

By the way, I do have hair again (and eye brows and lashes). It's almost an inch long and so very curly. I look a little like Richard Simmons but not as fit and perky. The earrings, especially long dangly ones, are what I am using to combat the post chemo, your hair is growing in look.

If you want to do something special, donations are always welcome at Ears to You. If you know a woman who's undergoing chemo, earrings are a very special way of saying I am thinking of you.

Just one last thing. My heart and soul, prayers, and thoughts are with all of you who have endured so much and lost so much in Hurricane Sandy. Blessings be with you.

Thanks, Amy, for organizing this blog hop! 

Have a look at what some sweet people have made:

Copper Diem
My Addictions
Beads, Tea and Sweets
Juls Beads
Fabric of my Life
Blogging Business Artisans
Jeannie's Blog
Lorelei's Blog
One Kiss Creations
Backstory Beads
According to Katie
Cherish Designs
Beads: Rolling Downhill
Falling Into The Sky
Garden Path Beads
Antiquity Travelers
Sissy and Jacks
Erin Siegel Jewelry/Art Bead Scene
Northwood Creative Studio
SilverRose Designs
Dreamin of Beads/SAS Jewelry Design
Cabe Woman
Summers Studio
Honey from the Bee
Shaiha's Ramblings
Mama's Got to Doodle
Beads for Busy Gals
Tanya McGuire
Creative Atelier

Being

Suddenly it all seems more real than it did before. I feel like I've drifted in this bubble without letting any of the cancer issues touch me. I have so many ideas of what I'd like to be doing in the studio. I have sketches, I have molds to make, I even have ideas for jewelry I'd like to make. But I have no idea when I'll be able to get back to any of it. That makes me a little sad, a little apprehensive.

Chemo starts tomorrow and one of the drugs that I'll be given is particularly rough with a lot of side effects. When I went into the doctor yesterday and left with this list of appointments, prescriptions, and schedule of injections to try to prevent some of the worst side effects, the really scary ones, it just kind of hit me in a way that I haven't felt before.

This first cycle is the one where they find out how I'll react to the cocktail of drugs. As the oncologist puts it, it's a one size fits all cycle and they'll make adjustments from there. Sheesh, that makes me feel like a lab rat.

So I'm just trying to focus on being right here and now. Just trying to stay positive. Just being. I really only tell you all of this because so many of you have lent me so much strength and healing thoughts and prayers. And many of you have asked to stay updated. I feel much gratitude to this loving community.

That's me yesterday afternoon. In 10 days when I reach the rock bottom of this first cycle of chemo most of that hair will be gone. That doesn't actually bother me all that much. It will grow back. It may even grow back curly and possible darker. Although darker is had to picture given the amount mature platinum blonde I sport these days.

One thing I can control going into this is that hair. So by the time you read this most of that hair will be lying on the salon floor. I'm not sure how short I'll go. I may leave it up to the stylist. Just throw caution to the wind and let her do whatever she likes. Or maybe not. This is after all about taking control. But short it will be and short hair is something I haven't had since I was a little girl. It's kind of exciting.

What's even more exciting is that I'm treating myself to a pedi with massage and all sort of exotic creams and stuff that will make my feet very happy. And you know, happy feet make happy people. So I am off to get some serious pampering. I'll be back here sometime next week.

Waking Up

All around me spring is bursting into bloom. New wonders greet me everyday as the world wakes up from winter. I feel a little like spring. Maybe a lot like spring. I feel like I am just waking up from surgery, although it will be 3 weeks tomorrow. But each day I feel a little more awake. A little more like me.

My garden is all new to me. Who knew that there were tulips, daffodils, and hyacinths waiting there for me to discover this year. It's a whole new landscape that I had no idea existed when we moved here last June. My body is like a whole new landscape that was unimaginable last June. But there is beauty to be found in the altered topography that is me.

The cancer was large but still early with no evidence of spread. I feel lucky. I feel optimistic. I feel that each precious moment of life is mine to savor, to hold, to recognize as a great gift. To hold in my heart. Much as I hold in my heart all of your unimaginable out pouring of support and love. Each comment, email, card has been such a beautiful gift that reminded me to have hope while I've been getting on with the business of living.

I am slowly getting back into the studio. I've been too tired to do much and I have restrictions on lifting and little things like making sure I don't get cuts in my hands and yuk in those little cuts. There will likely be some changes to how I do things over the next few months. But Peter and I are working out the best way to do things. I need to be in my studio. I also need to be good to myself. Balancing act skill is not necessarily well represented in my life's tool box. But maybe this is the opportunity to learn a new skill set.

I start chemotherapy the first week of April. It's a reasonably short cycle of 4 that will be finished in June. I will most likely lose all of my hair but then I've always been looking for an excuse to wear flamboyant head wear. It is time to follow through. The chemotherapy will be finished in time to welcome my new grand baby into the world. Life is good.

Everywhere I look there is something new coming to life. The red buds and forsythia and flowering plums are a quiet riot of colour against the trees that are just now swelling with the first signs of green leaves to come. Life is good. Life is very good indeed. Life is full of promise and beauty.

On a wing and a prayer and the big C

Finally, I feel satisfied with these little bronze pieces. I've been working on them for a while.  I love these little birdies.  I saw these plump little beauties out my back door all summer and fall. They were feasting on the bird feeder just outside my studio window. They looked wren like but so big compared to the house wrens I am familiar with. They have the most beautiful song. A little internet search and there they were. The mystery of the large plump wren. I present the Carolina wren, at least my version of one. My new studio friend.

The nest with a single egg fairly flew off my pen to paper when I first heard the fantastic news that I will have a new grand baby at the end of June. It's a celebration of the gift of life that babies bring. By the way, it is a boy that we will be greeting and loving into this world.

A 'wing and a prayer' is a phrase that I often turn to in times when I am having a hard time navigating life.  But I never really knew where it came from. A little research and I find that it comes from a British song/poem about a WWII fighter plane coming home after a mission on a single engine, ..'we are coming in on a wing and a prayer...' It means essentially that I may not be operating at my optimum but I'm getting the job done.

In fact, I haven't been operating on all my engines lately. You know, I'm pretty much getting there. I'm making it home.  But the results of all of those medical tests that came about after this year's physical are not all that fantastic. Yep, it is the big C. I have breast cancer. It will require surgery soon and most likely chemo and radiation therapy. I so debated whether or not to share that on this blog. But then this blog is about the intersection of my studio with my life and .... well this one is a biggy that is going to spill over into most everything I do.

But I do feel a little like that bunny. For me bunnies are a symbol of spring, of the beginning of summer. I remember watching them as a child hopping through the back garden at dusk. I loved going out there and quietly watching them being busy foraging for their dinner. Usually that was my mothers vegetable garden. She did not share the same affection I had for the little fellows.

Spring is just around the corner.....Spring is a new beginning and I'm ready for a new beginning.